The Ministry of Slaps

I got the call around 11 pm from a friend & fellow-minister.

Friend: “How did your revival meeting go?”

Me: “Great! 1 got the Holy Ghost and 1 was baptized tonight. I remember that you visited a neighboring church’s revival this evening. How was the service?”

Friend: “Well … I guess it was ok.”

Me: “What happened?”

Friend: “The preaching was pretty good. We got to the altar service, and something strange happened.”

Me: “Go on.”

Friend: “I was standing there to be prayed for, and he POPPED me.”

Me: “What do you mean, ‘he popped me?’”

Friend: “He pretty much SLAPPED me, right there in the altar.”

Me: “Describe the encounter. Start from the beginning.”

Friend: “The visiting preacher did decent, then gave the altar call. I was watching him. When he was praying for people, he was doing something to them. They were acting funny after he’d put his hands on them. Then I saw what he was doing. He prayed for the fellow next to me, and when he did – you know how a baseball pitcher will pull back his arm to throw a fastball? That’s the motion he made, and he hit that dude’s forehead at about 80 miles an hour. He full-on slapped the top of his forehead. That guy went down.”

Me: “What’d you do?”

Friend: “I realized I was next, so I prepared myself. I got in a war stance. He reared his arm back, and slapped my forehead. I stood my ground. I had taken the fastball.”

Me: “Did he move on to the next one?”

Friend: “No. He had a backup plan. Next, you know how a preacher will sometimes place the palm of his hand on your chest when he’s praying for you? Well he did that, only it was like a Judo punch. He decked me in the middle of my chest. I took it. I didn’t go down.”

Me: “How did he respond?”

Friend: “He looked bewildered. He was mad that I didn’t fall.”

Me: “Did you return fire?”

Friend: “(Laughing) No! But I thought about it. I was mad enough to. I kept the Holy Ghost.”

Me: “I didn’t know that was an option: hitting people in the altar.”

Friend: “That fellow ain’t right.”

Me: “You have now experienced the Ministry of Slaps!”

Let’s all pause for a moment to consider that somewhere in Pentecost, there is a minister slapping people in the altar … and he could be coming to a church near you!


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